As readers know by now, I’m all in when it comes to having kids, growing a family, being there for them, and making sacrifices for their sake. But if I’m being honest, parenting can sometimes be grueling, with few immediate rewards. There’s no year-end bonus, no report card grading your efforts, and in today’s world, most people don’t notice whether you’re doing a good job or not. Burnout creeps in, and when it does, I catch myself snapping at my kids over things I would normally brush off. My 9-year-old’s nonstop silliness from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. loses its charm, and the endless cycle of making breakfast, lunch, and dinner feels monotonous. On weekends, I sometimes find myself slipping into a rut, scrolling through my phone, or procrastinating on tasks that need to be done.
My kids pick up on it. They sense when Mom’s in a mood, but at their young ages, they don’t know how to help, nor should they. It can spiral into a cycle where everyone’s a bit irritated with each other. When I hit this wall, I know we need a family reset. Sometimes a vacation is on the horizon, pulling us out of the daily grind. Other times, a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s gives my husband and me a breather. But when those aren’t options, our go-to fix is the Kitchen Dance Party.
It sounds cheesy, I know, but it works like magic. Back in 2020, when we were cooped up at home and the world felt heavy, these ruts were all too common. One day, I put on the soundtrack to The Jersey Boys, the musical about The Four Seasons. My kids, then 2 and 4, didn’t care how uncool it was-they loved it. My 2-year-old, with his raspy voice, would belt out “Sherry,” sounding like a chain-smoking 65-year-old man, making us all laugh. My
4-year-old would shuffle around, winking like a little crooner. I’d strut to “Walk Like a Man,” with everyone trailing behind me in the kitchen. My husband would attempt Frankie Valli’s high notes, and we’d all crack up. Those dance parties carried us through that tough time. Today, we have the sheet music for “Sherry” framed and hanging in our living room as a tribute to the song that got us through.
We still turn to dance parties to escape difficult times today, although the playlist has evolved. My husband might blast LMFAO, with my 9-year-old declaring he’s “sexy and he knows it,” while my 7-year-old begs for the latest Minecraft movie song on repeat. We all dance ridiculously, poke fun at, or cheer on each other’s moves. It’s silly, simple, and a reminder that we can still have fun together. It pulls us out of daily frustrations and reconnects us without needing a big heart-to-heart. It’s certainly cheaper than going on vacation, and it’s easier than a two-hour ride to Grandma and Grandpa’s house! For parents of boys, especially, it’s a great way to get them to open up when they’ve clammed up.
This idea of kitchen dance parties isn’t new. In 2022, a systematic review in Frontiers in Psychology examined The Physiological and Psychological Benefits of Dance and its Effects on Children and Adolescents. And while I appreciate the science behind it all, sometimes it is easier to hear from a peer that, anecdotally, it really does work. Often, after Sunday morning dance parties, my sons will perform better at sports. We will all speak more kindly to each other, my tasks of the day seem a little less frustrating, and my husband and I will flirt a bit more.
So, when you sense the family’s vibe is off and the joy of parenting feels distant, don’t let it drag on. Kick things off with a kitchen dance party to bring everyone back together. And if it’s not a kitchen dance, maybe it’s a walk outside in nature after dinner, or a mini basketball game in the driveway. Or perhaps it’s a walk down the city streets trying to find 12 blue doors. Wherever you are, do something physical and together. You’re a team, and as a parent, it’s on you to pull everyone back on track when things feel off. Find that one thing that puts you all in a good mood and do it. Personally, I will always have a soft spot for Frankie Valli.