“He hit me”, “it was him”, “that’s not fair.” As a mom of five, I hear these phrases on an hourly basis (at an obnoxiously high volume). Kids spend a lot of time screaming, shouting, being mischievous, and fighting with their siblings. This type of behavior doesn’t just occur at home. Anywhere you find young children, you will hear the sound of screaming.
Although some children misbehave more than others and some parents let them, in general, kids screaming, shouting, and yes, fighting with siblings is a regular part of childhood. Children, after all, are not simply small adults; they’re children. They lack the same understanding and ability to communicate as adults. They lack the words or maturity to express themselves appropriately and adequately, as adults do. This is why they become more frustrated and are prone to shouting and temper tantrums.
Because children can be so annoying (mine are screaming as I write this), many particularly grouchy adults don’t think they should have to hear them in public.
“Children shouldn’t fly.”
“Why do your kids have to go to the grocery store?”
“Keep your kids at home until they can behave appropriately.” “I want peace in public.”
These are common mindsets that a disturbingly high number of people hold. A TikToker recently (and justifiably) caught flak for suggesting children shouldn’t go to Costco, a store typically used by large families.
But why so much hate for kids? Sure, they can be annoying, but so can adults! In fact, while juvenile tantrums may be irritating, their behavior typically does not cause harm, unlike that of adults. Kids (unbeknownst to them) receive so much prejudice that they are the only demographic you can openly hate. Hop on any social media platform and declare “I hate kids,” and you’ll be greeted with hundreds or even hundreds of thousands agreeing with you. There are few, if any, other demographics you can openly hate and discriminate against with such fanfare. Our most vulnerable population, our most important population, our own children, are quite literally treated like second-class citizens so older populations can have “peace”.
But what would it be like not to see or hear children in public? It may be quieter, but do we really want to live in a world where children are not heard? Do we want to live in a world where kids laughing and all the innocent aspects of childhood no longer surround us? It’s easy to say you want ‘peace’, but is a world catering to adults really what we want? Aren’t there plenty of other places that provide us peace?
We should be cautious about what we wish for, because birth rates are dropping worldwide. In many places, they are below the replacement birth rate of 2.0 births per woman. This means that we are likely not only to hear children less but also to see them less. And that’s a depressing thought.
As I was recently walking through the tight aisles full of breakables at a HomeGoods store with a screaming 3-year-old and a very happy nearly 2-year-old loudly shouting ‘hi’ to everyone and waving, I noticed that the smiles we got outnumbered the scowls. Sure, there is little more irritating than the high-pitched screams of an inconsolable toddler. But the true joy gained from a cute little girl excitedly greeting you brings a ‘peace’ much greater than any silence. And the smiles she brought to EVERY person she encountered canceled the eye rolls from my
tantrum-throwing three-year-old.
Children keep us young. They remind us of what life is really about. They give us the greatest joy and an overwhelming love so strong that the thought of living without them can utterly destroy us. Children are not a burden; they are the future. We live on through them. As great as peace may be, I don’t want to live in a silent, sterile world, and I don’t think most people want to either. Which is why we must change the mindset that children should be seen and not heard, because if we are not careful, they may soon be seldom seen or heard.
Rebecca Velo is a mom, wife, and political writer. She is the Opinion Editor for Wrong Speak Publishing and also writes for Substack.